When the cloud of self-doubt has gone, I get on with whatever it was that I packed up. I walk away and talk to myself for a couple of hours, sometimes days. But there are times when it all comes on top, I sometimes say that’s it no more. What do you do when you think about giving up?Sometimes I just sit and think. Allowing a grieving person to talk and cry is a great release for them.ġ0. As a Detective Sgt for many years the main skill of any investigator is to look and listen. There has to be an expression a release to allow emotions to come out. One of the best ways to help someone is to get them to talk, and you listen, or get someone to write down their feelings. I think many of the emergency service members have their own way of dealing with it. Trying to say the right thing at the right time there is no easy answer.
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But over the years of dealing with victims of crime you tend to build an expertise on how to handle people. Death is never an easy matter to deal with especially if it is a close relative or friend. In that way you don’t become personally involved but you can see the grief and sorrow that people are feeling. You build up a shield around you and look at life from within that shield. Over the years I have witnessed and been involved in family bereavements. What helped you find ways to comfort others. You give great advice to people who have lost a loved one. That is why after that day when I delivered a death message, I got in and out, as callous as it may seem. I finished the rest of my shift, and dealt with the people who needed my attention. I had a lump in my throat the size of a tennis ball. “I’m sorry to tell you that your son has been killed in a road accident.” In hindsight, I should have asked a neighbor or a relative to come a couple of minutes after I went in, but I didn’t. I knocked on the door and a woman answered. I always remember delivering my first death message to a family as a young officer of a few months, I was told: “Get in and get out, Do not get involved because you have to finish your shift and deal with lots of other situations.” All of the emergency services use it as a means to stay focused, for without it you would crumble. Some would say sick humour, but that was the only way to overcome and live with the everyday scenes you witnessed and dealt with. But one of the most fulfilling was the comradery with colleagues and of course the humour. Trying to be empathetic to victims of crime. Obtaining a confession from a hard criminal. What was the most fulfilling thing about being a policeman? The most fulfilling? Again many answers but here goes: The public expects you to deal with them as if they were the only person that mattered. The expectation that as soon as you go to work no matter about your own home life, they expect 100%. Leaving home never knowing what time you’d be back home. What was the hardest thing about being a policeman? The hardest thing? Too many to answer, but here goes. But hey-ho the public gets the press they want.ħ. They only use pictures that show the angle they want to emphasize. Sensationalism seems to sell newspapers and news. I see pictures these days on news reels that only tell one side of the story. That’s when the adage is true you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Sometimes, even when you do your best, you’re still criticized.
Like most jobs and careers it’s difficult to provide for the family and support them while you work.
What kept you going? Phew! Hard question. In my younger days I did martial arts and was very fit.Ħ. How do you keep yourself physically fit? I love to swim.
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My father was Irish and mother Scottish as a child spent many school holidays on a farm in Ireland, Great fun driving a tractor and milking cows plus all the other farm duties, such as hay making. Where was your favorite place to live as a child?.It’s fascinating to me to learn about others and their journeys.
It is a pleasure to share your story and hints for writers and artists. I would just like to thank you for the opportunity to take part in your blog and answer your questions. I am excited to have David Parle, Author and Artist visiting on my blog for an interview today.
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